Being Married - Ephesians 5:22-33

The majority of us who have grown older do not mind being asked our age. It is usually one of our prized moments when we are able to tell our inquiries that we have lived four scour and six years and that we have also been married to one precocious spouse for the last sixty-six of those years. When both are still living fairly normal, healthy lives, assisting each other over the troubling spots each day, the joy is compounded. As one qualified to write from personal experience I can attest that being happily married is one of the most important accomplishments of my life.

I have personally known several families that seemed to have everything going right, and all were happy in their family fellowship and relationship so long as they practiced the teachings held forth in this lesson today. But a time came when they failed to love and honor God as he loved his church, and difficulties arose and the family life was destroyed. Nothing has ever brought more unhappiness into the lives of the family or a nation than for us to ignore God’s teaching regarding the family and church. I doubt that anyone reading this passage of scripture regarding the importance of a Godly home can fully realize how great it really is. Literally stated, only the mind of God knows the spiritual value of the family unit.

We are living in evil times just as the Ephesians did in the days of Paul’s writings to them approximately 2055 years ago. Whether we survive and prosper and live to enjoy our lives today or meet total failure all depends upon our being willing to depend upon the plans that God has established for us to live by. Paul was faced with the dangers being taught by the Jewish faith regarding the condition or place that women held in their Jewish society. Very simply, women were looked down upon to the point that one of their prayers thanked God that the Jewish man was created as neither a slave, a gentile, nor a woman. Paul and other writers faced these teachings when they started teaching that all men and women were alike in the sight of God.

As a result of the early teachings of the church and its leaders, throughout the years the Christian view of marriage has come to be widely accepted. I hope and pray that it is still recognized as the ideal family relationship even in these permissive days in which we live. Since we live in the days of mass communication instantly available we immediately know about the perverted practices regarding sex and marriage that sometimes appear as something new. We must realize that the sins against the family started as early as the story of Sodom and Gomorrah, as recorded in the Old Testament, and even where practice has fallen short of the ideal, marriage has always been in the minds and hearts of Christian men and women.

In 5: 22 and beyond, Paul talks about the submission of the wife to the husband. He states that the woman must be submissive to her husband as she is to Christ. This is true because they have promised to love each other and it is not based on any fact that says the husband should be in control. He goes on to explain some of the things about the love that a husband must bear, show, share with his wife.

1. Man’s love for his wife must be a sacrificial love. Paul says that the husband must love his wife just as Christ loved the church, and gave himself for the church. This must not be a selfish love. One must love his wife not for what she can do for him but because of the ways he can serve her.

2. The love between husband and wife must be a purifying love…just as the agape love of Christ for man.

3. The love for a woman must be caring love. Love her as you love yourself and take care that both are equally served, equally blessed. The relationship of marriage always involves three people…a man, a woman and Jesus Christ as the unseen guest who is always present.

It is not difficult for Christian people to understand why so many marriages are failing today. I do not know the percentage of marriages that occur between believers, but my guess would be that that they are in the minority. Therefore since many [maybe most] marriages occur between two people who have not accepted Christ, they do not realized the sacredness of the marriage union. These marriages are selfish in nature and generally speaking, they are marriages to get rather than to give. I only wish I had the ability to explain to unbelievers the dangers they are facing—for the bible strictly teaches that we should not be un-equally yoked together.

Are you contemplating marriage in your near future? The best advice that I have for you is that you consider the great number of people that will eventually be affected by your decision. Study the bible until you understand fully what your obligations will be to all concerned. Remember that it is a lifelong commitment to your wife and many others. Above all—look up the meaning of DIVORCE, and realize that it is not a biblically accepted reason to end a marriage. Do not establish a divorce as an acceptable way to end your relationship just in case it does not work. When this occurs, it is a selfish decision that does not take in to consideration the horrors of a broken home that usually destroys the happy lives of children and families.