Relationships: The Integrity Factor - 2 Corinthians 1 - 2

The bible teaches and I believe that the family unit is the most important brick in our wall of success as an American nation. God created man and woman and directed that they become one in marriage and bear children—and He did not give us any alternate or different instructions [same sex instructions, how to pre-marital instructions or instructions on how to commit adultery successfully]. He did give additional instructions to the family. To the man and woman first: He called for fidelity from both [each faithful to the other] and then from their children he demanded that they honor their mother and father. Any member of a family without integrity can be compared to a rotten apple in the barrel.

I lived in a Godly home with my parents from 1924 until I graduated from high school in 1943 and I do not remember of any close friends that lived in broken homes. I am sure there were a few but they were the exception rather than the rule. The local school officials tell me that more than fifty percent of the school children today are from broken homes. Because of pre-marital sex, adultery and abandonment, some of these children do not know who their mothers and fathers are. This is a sad day in the American home and it is here because of intolerable personal relationships caused by lack of integrity. The sad side of this problem is that there are so many citizens of America, even our friends and neighbors who are unconcerned about the trend.

I have no way of knowing how many of—or what percentage of our population has espoused the concept that fidelity in marriage is not important especially if it gets in the way of selfish desires. I do know that my knowledge is limited and I still know of several cases—and some are as close as within my own family. The truth is that these persons either do not know what the bible teaches or they know and are willingly rejecting its teaching.

It is a sad day when a parent can not talk to their own son or daughter, when grandparents can not discuss the sin of adultery and premarital sex with their grand children because they are already involved in the sinful practice. There is no circumstance that places more strain on family relationships. Look at the other side of the same problem and try to realize the situation that children are facing when their parents divorce. The problem for children grows harder to bear when their divorced or widowed parent takes up a life of illicit sex, or becomes involved in a live-in situation. How can a child council their own parents about their sinning ways without developing a strain in relationships, or vice versa?

I wish that could give you a sure plan to follow that would bring the wayward to their senses, help them redirect their lives, mend broken hearts, and restore the strained relationships—but I am afraid that a sure plan does not exist. I do know that harsh and/or forceful condemnation and rejection will only drive families further apart. No matter how distressed or hurt you are, you must continue to express your love for the wayward without ever agreeing with their lifestyle. Above everything else you must demonstrate that you have integrity and will not forfeit your position.

If you can relate to the setting I have presented for this lesson, and especially if you are experiencing such a condition at this time, I urge you to read slowly and comprehensively and study hard the ways that Paul chose to relate to the Corinthians in the church at Corinth after they had bitterly disappointed him. Paul is relating the strained relationships that had occurred in his ‘church family’ and I am comparing this to the problems today that are present in so many of our personal families. There is a parallel that I hope you can see and relate to.

There were many strained relationships between Paul and the Corinthians. He wrote four letters to this church, one was lost: and it maybe that only a part of the fourth letter is contained in 2 Corinthians. Paul got word that many of his converts had become disgruntled with his leadership; and Paul was surely disappointed in the fidelity of general church membership. I can not be their judge but maybe they had a right to fuss about him promising to visit them and then changing his mind. And in the same way, he had a right to be disappointed in their failure to follow the teachings of Christ that he had laid down for them to follow, and their willingness to dabble again in the carnal sins of the age.

Paul lived a troubled life so he understands how to deal with a church family who are in trouble. Their life style was the cause for the pressure bearing down upon them. He used the Greek word thlipsis for pressure. One example of the meaning of thlipsis is that it was one of the ways used to execute a person by placing a heavy weight on the body and crushing the person to death. According to this language the church was in the process of being crushed to death by some who had turned against Paul and were causing the problems in the new church. Lack of integrity in any church will lead to its destruction. It has always been and still is always a costly thing to be a true Christian—just remember that there can be no Christianity without its cross.

In the early verses of this book, Paul praises God for being the farther of compassion for him [Paul] and His people, the Corinthians, and he reaffirms that he is the God of all comfort. Paul explains that his call as an apostle gave him the same ability to extend compassion and comfort to the people.

Beginning in verse eight, Paul tells us of his great hardships that even threatened is life. This is where he first talks about being under great pressure [thlipsis] which was far beyond his ability to endure. He was actually afraid for his own life. Paul had promised to visit the church at Corinth on two occasions and had failed to make it and some of the members had not forgiven him, and accused him of not keeping his word. One or more of the members had gone too far and even been punished by his supporters in the church. Paul felt that there should be no more punishment handed out, and that the better way was through love and compassion and Christian forgiveness. Paul teaches us that the use of rebuke in correcting someone doing wrong may not be the way to go, and if used too harshly it will drive offenders further away.

Now to bring this lesson to a successful close I think that we must reemphasize that your love one gone astray must first believe in the bible and be willing to pattern his/her life by its teachings. Once that is confirmed, the use of God’s word can be quoted when the opportunity occurs to use it in giving guidance and leadership. It is very important that the life of the counselor must be beyond reproach, that is, not guilty of the same kind of sin or something even worse. Do not rush for or even expect an instant answer, sometimes it just takes time for a person to realize their folly; and do not use rebuke, or cut off all communication. You must remain on a friendly basis in order to reach anyone in a positive way.

Lastly, always remember that God is a forgiving master and he will continue forgiving the sinful not just seven times but seven times seventy.

[Prayer request: My wife, Juanita fell and broke a hip on July 22, successful operation was next day, please pray for quick recovery. Thanks. John Vandiver]